I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
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all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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