I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Alive.
So much puke
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
