420 ftw
I want to make a zoo with you.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
