she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
