I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
