awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
