The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids