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I can't watch pbs sober anymore
one two three fourrrrnication!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You can't special order awesome
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
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