And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure