what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
