Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
