every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
