So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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