i was born a porn star she said
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
