I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize