I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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