..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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