I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
