I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.