Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
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Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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