Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.