Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...