youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!