I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo