he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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