see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Small penises have feelings too.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize