Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you never un-have a 4some
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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