just come out here and I will go home with you...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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