She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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