Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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