and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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