I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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