We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
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I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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