a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize