I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
