the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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