I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
