So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
