this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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