you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
