***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Plan B is the new Plan A
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize