Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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