big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
