Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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