after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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