Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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