my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Bring me that man meat
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
