dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize