i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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