I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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