Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
