the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
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Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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