now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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