I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You don't make any sense
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