I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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