Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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