I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
