I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
